Conscious Inklings Blog. IDEAS, INSIGHTS & INK-SPIRATION. / awareness

I was having a conversation with a family friend recently and the topic shifted to the importance of forgiveness.  My conversation partner mentioned that she felt like she was pretty good at forgiving people and I responded by telling her that I forgive, but that first I need a resolution.  She very quickly pointed out that that was not, in fact, forgiveness because forgiveness is not conditional.  When she said this, I had an immediate physical reaction.

I wanted to argue with her, to defend myself, and to tell her that you can’t just decide to forgive someone.  I wanted to say that you have to truly feel forgiveness before you can bestow it upon someone else, and as much sometimes I wish I could, I can’t choose what to feel.  Clearly, her comment had struck a nerve, and in my experience, that typically means that someone has shone a light on a truth that is difficult to face.

Since our conversation, I noticed that messages about forgiveness were popping up all around me, and once again, I knew that the universe was trying to show me the places inside of myself where I still had room to grow.  If I am going to be really honest, I have not been very good at forgiving people.  I have struggled with holding on to hurt and anger, and at points, have held grudges for very long periods of time.

I used to think of forgiveness as something that we do for someone else, to release another person from their guilt, but in recent years, I have had a new experience of forgiveness.  I have had moments in which, quite spontaneously, I could feel myself releasing the hurt and anger that I had held onto from old, broken relationships.  These moments left me humbled as I felt the heavy burden of carrying all of that negative energy lift, and this new sense of lightness led me to the realization that forgiveness is much more about the individual who is giving forgiveness than the one who is receiving it.

The actions of others that tend to hurt and anger us the most are usually the ones that reflect the parts of ourselves with which we struggle most intensely.  The things that are the hardest to forgive are often the things that hit closest to home, the things that we too feel guilt around.  Just like you have to truly love yourself before you can love another, you must also forgive yourself before you can forgive others, and the key that unlocks the door to forgiveness is compassion.

Jack Kornfield says that, “forgiveness simply means never putting another person out of your heart.”  As we develop a deep sense of compassion for ourselves, we can extend that love and understanding to include those around us.  While it may not be possible to simply choose to feel forgiveness toward someone, we can start with trying to understand that person.  Even the tiniest spark of empathy can be fed and tended to until it builds into the full flame of compassion that allows us to release hurt and pain and to let go The temporary tattoos in the Conscious Ink Store were designed to promote personal growth and inspire people to live the most authentic, blissful lives they can imagine.

Everyday we claim our titles, our choices, our paths. Everyday we make 35,000 decisions -- choices that can seem as inconsequential as we choose to add an extra slice of tomato to our sandwiches or how we tie our shoelaces. But among those many decisions, those big and small choices, we also decide WHO AM I.

We choose to be compassionate or judgmental.

We choose to cling tight or surrender.

We choose to be kind or be cold.

These are choices we make as we drive down the street, see our coworkers in the hall, greet our families at the door or kiss our kids (or fur babies) goodnight. Our thoughts and actions shape who we are and who we are becoming. It is by living consciously, by intentionally choosing those thoughts and actions do we become radically empowered in creating the trajectory and momentum of our lives.

Conscious Ink was created to empower the world to own their truth. The manifestation tattoos are a simple tool of awareness and empowerment to serve our daily reawakening and our daily reminder to choose wisely.

How can you be GRACE today?

How can you be INSPIRATION today?

How can you be HOPE today?

How can you be HEALED today?

How can you be POWERFUL today?

First, you must look in the mirror and claim it.

I am...bold.

...brilliant.

...hope.

...strong.

...powerful.

Decide it. Declare it.

Look into your eyes and see the truth. Be witness to your great, glorious, sometimes messy, always evolving I AM.  

We are honored to be choosing, growing, claiming, evolving with you.

“It looked like a death sentence,” says Collins King about the moment she got up at 3am to reflect on her cancer diagnosis. But fast forward nearly a decade and now she is celebrating 7 years cancer-free! “I'll be 7 years out in November 2017 for Triple Negative Breast can-sur. I don't even spell it out and give it merit.“

But after chemotherapy and a double mastectomy, at 53, Collins started having body issues. Then Collins saw Conscious Ink tattoos  pop up in her Facebook newsfeed. Collins had decided to start a workout regiment. She wanted something positive on her skin that was visible to keep her on track, keep her positive and so she began wearing a Manifestation Tattoo on her right wrist every day before a workout.

You are loved.

Love your body.

Empowerment.

These were the words that she wore to remind her of her own strength. “Every time I look down at that tattoo, I am reminded that I can begin again.”

Collins can’t have tattoos (needles) in her arm and these tattoos allowed her the beauty and purpose of a tattoo without the actual ink, needles or permanence.

“I love wearing them and when my friends ask, ‘did you get ink?’ I say ‘temporary on the skin, indelible on the soul’ to them.”

In the end, it comes down to the words we choose for ourselves.

Collins says that if she could leave a single message to the world, it would be:

“Life is a Journey, not a destination. Go with God. Oh,and of course cancer sucks!”

Have you struggled with an illness? How did you overcome it? What mantra would you claim (or have you claimed) for strength for the journey?

Share your story of healing with our Conscious Ink family. Our collective stories are powerful when we allow them to rise.

We have 12,000-60,000 thoughts per day. Our brains are firing, wiring, and soaking up information constantly as we move through our lives and even right now you are likely processing these words while other thoughts are ricocheting off the corners of your mind. The fact of the matter is that our brains are turned on and are gathering and internalizing data at record speed and the majority of those thoughts are the same as yesterday’s, which were the same as the day before. But even more alarming is that it is estimated that 80% of those thoughts are negative. That’s right. As we brush our teeth, kiss our kids, get stuck in traffic, call for take-out, step in the shower, lead that big meeting, there are conscious and subconscious negative thoughts that are bombarding us.

But can our thoughts—negative or positive—truly have an impact on us? The answer is yes. In fact, in a recent interview, Conscious Ink’s founder Frank Gjata, mentioned Dr. Masura Emoto’s work in a recent interview. Dr. Emoto is known for his studies that showed the impact of positive and negative messages on water on a molecular level. Positive and negative words and phrases were spoken over distinct jars of water and then frozen. The water was then put under a microscope to reveal that the water that had been infused with negativity had a disfigured, asymmetrical, and almost blobbish molecular structure while the water infused with positivity had crystalline symmetrical shapes like a snowflake under the microscope. Balanced and intricate elegance. Our bodies comprising of 50-75% water and our brains processing tens of thousands of thoughts a day, the concept then forces us to ponder how our negative and positive thoughts impact our minds and our bodies.   

If you were put under a microscope, what would you see?

Would you see harmony and elegance?

Or would you see distress and pain?

The Conscious Ink tattoos are about claiming the positive for yourself.

They are about taking back your thoughts and words so that you can affirm your desires and your truth as you shift the statistics and biology to your favor. The consistent reminder and action of re-orienting yourself to the positive as well as by actively creating positive associations in your life, you are actually changing your neural pathways to accommodate a shifting mindset that breaks away from limitations, doubt and fear and moves toward infinite possibility and limitless power and true connection.

What words do you claim today?

How will you use them to rise?

One of my favorite things about being part of the Conscious Ink team is the way that the inspirational messages of our temporary tattoos find their ways into my life.  Just being around such positive, affirming, and inspiring messages on a regular basis allows and encourages me to think about their meaning and live my life in a more, well, conscious way, and the Conscious Ink message that seems to keep finding its way into my life lately is the message of gratitude.

Gratitude is a tricky thing.  It’s not necessarily something you can create or just conjure up out of nowhere.  Doing something expecting gratitude rarely evokes the desired response and I’m sure that many of us have had the experience of struggling to find something to appreciate in a given moment.  As a child and young adult, I often thought of gratitude as something that you express for the sake of someone else; I thought the whole point of expressing gratitude was to make someone else feel good or to be polite.  I’ve realized, however, that, while it definitely feels good to know that you’re appreciated, the experience of really connecting with how much you value, appreciate, and are truly thankful for something in your life is an incredibly enriching experience on a personal level.

Gratitude has the capacity to inspire us to be more generous, to give us a new perspective on the world around us, and even to heal us.  One of the beautiful things about gratitude is that there is an infinite number of things that can elicit it.  We can feel gratitude for the people in our lives that have supported and guided us.  We can feel appreciation for our health and for the luxuries that are so easily taken for granted every day: the food that nourishes us, the comforts of our homes, and the opportunities that we have been blessed with in our lives.  Even simple things, like a smile from a stranger, a beautiful day, or the experience of feeling seen, acknowledged, or understood can fill us with so much gratitude.

Of course, there are times when it can be difficult to connect with that sense of thankfulness.  When we find ourselves in circumstances that trigger fear, anger, or pain, it can often feel like there isn’t enough room for gratitude as well.  Even in these moments though, if we can take a step back and just breathe into the difficult part of the situation, we can see that these experiences can be full of gifts as well.  They provide us with the opportunity to grow, to learn, and to test and stretch the limits of what we believe we are capable of.  It is often the very experience of struggle that helps us develop a greater capacity for humility and compassion.  It is in these moments that we have the chance to fully explore what it means to be a human being with the myriad of sensations, emotions, and experiences that come along with it, and what can any one of us be more grateful for than that?
 Conscious Ink Store
**Lots of GRATITUDE to Suzanne Campbell for the photos featured in this article**

I used to have this crazy recurring nightmare in which I would awaken from sleep to find that I was the last person left in the world.  I would run through the streets, searching shops and homes, trying to find out where everyone had gone, but as I ran, I realized that I was completely alone.  It was terrifying.

I couldn’t have imagined anything worse.  To never be able to share things with other people, to never be able to connect

 

with another person again was a completely horrifying idea.  Without those things, I can’t imagine that life would hold anywhere near as much joy or laughter.

The funny thing is that the chance of there being a total apocalypse, while not completely impossible, is pretty unlikely, and it’s even more unlikely that if all human life suddenly ceased to exist, I would somehow be the only one to survive.  So why, even after waking, did this dream send shivers of panic through me?  Why did this dream continue to plague me night after night?

For much of my life, I have had a very hard time being alone.  Growing up, it seemed I was always with other people, whether it was my sister or my friend next door.  Even throughout college, I often slept over at friends’ houses because I never wanted to go home.  I never wanted to be alone.  I think, somewhere along the way, I developed this idea that if I was alone, I would feel lonely, and who wants to feel that?

In recent years though, various life circumstances have led me to spend a lot more time by myself and, quite unexpectedly, I have come to appreciate time spent in my own company.  I actually can’t even remember the last time I had the apocalyptic nightmare and I think the reason is that I finally shone a light under the bed where the monster was supposed to be hiding and found that the fear was not based in anything true.  Rather than finding loneliness in my time away from others, I found a greater sense of intimacy with myself, an ability to be more authentic, and a deeper sense of peace

Not only did my experience of being alone shift,

but the way that I approach my time with others has changed as well.  While I certainly still love to meet new people and to spend time with my friends and family, I don’t feel such a strong need to constantly surround myself with others.  This allows me to be more thoughtful about the ways that I share my time with the people in my life and leads me to be so much more grateful for the moments I share with them, the learning that can come out of each experience, and the opportunities I have to share myself and my gifts with the people around me.  I am more present for each moment, and as a result, the sense of connectedness I gain through these experiences is so much more profound.

Since I have started being alone more, the interactions I do have with other people seem to carry more weight, and I find that I am more aware of the ways I interact with people.  The exchange with the person ringing me up in the store, making eye contact with someone I pass on the street, even conversations with people that I still speak to regularly, but much less frequently than I used to, become illuminated and I feel more attuned to the impact we have on each other and the importance of taking every opportunity to share positivity and love with others.

Another thing that I have become more attuned to is the way that loneliness does not really result from being away from others.  Loneliness can strike whether you are living a solitary life on a mountaintop or spending 24 hours a day, seven days a week surrounded by people, because loneliness is not so much a result of being physically alone.  Loneliness is the result of an emotional sense of being alone, a sense of disconnectedness, and the great thing about that is that is that it really is only a feeling.  The truth

is that we are all connected in infinite ways.  We are never truly alone, well, unless of course there actually is an apocalypse, but even then, we can connect with all the love

that we have shared, the memories of everyone who has touched our lives, and be filled up with the beauty and joy of these experiences.  We always have that choice; so as long as we choose to stay conscious of that connectedness, there may be times in life where we find that we must be alone, loneliness is always optional.

Stay conscious of your connectedness with Conscious Ink Temporary Tattoos!
They were designed to help you connect with others, with yourself, and with a wondrous state of bliss and they are available in The Conscious Ink Store

About a year ago, I set an intention for myself...for conscious communication.  I have always admired people who don’t necessarily talk a lot, but save their words for truly meaningful dialogue.  Unfortunately for anyone who is stuck in close quarters with me for any extended period of time, I come from a long line of long-winded people, and realistically, I will never be the silent type.  So, I decided to start with a goal that felt more attainable, that honors who I am while still challenging myself to be the best version of me I can be.  I decided to simply try to be more mindful of the ways that I communicate with people.

The process of turning my attention to my communication habits allowed me to notice all sorts of patterns that I hadn’t really been aware of before.  For example, I noticed that I frequently drift off mentally while in conversation with others.  I start thinking about my day or my life and am no longer really tuned in to the person who is speaking to me.  I also noticed that quite often when I am “listening”, I am actually just waiting for my turn to talk, and that when I talk, I am often doing so to fill empty space, to distract myself from uncomfortable feelings, or to seek validation.

All of these things are pretty normal, and I would guess that most of us find ourselves falling into these habits from time to time, but any time I notice a pattern in my life, I like to ask myself some questions.  How is this pattern serving me?  Is this a pattern that I want to continue?  Or, is this a pattern that I learned long ago, but isn’t actually useful anymore?

The simple answer is that, while these patterns may have served me at one time, they no longer achieve the desired effect.  The greatest part of communicating with others is the connection that comes from sharing experiences.  If I am not actually being present with the person I am communicating with and really listening to what they have to say, then I am missing out on a lot of the gifts that they have to share with me.  It is very comforting when friends are willing to be sounding boards as I try to sort through my thoughts and feelings, but talking endlessly about an issue until I sound like a broken record is really only a temporary distraction from actually dealing with whatever is troubling me and doesn’t honor my friends’ time or attention.  Also, if I find myself continually seeking validation from others, and the need doesn’t seem to be getting adequately filled, perhaps it is a need that must be filled from within, from quieting my mind and really listening to myself.  After all, that voice inside, the one that can so easily be muffled over with endless chatter and mental busy work, may be the most important voice to listen to of all and there is only one person who can actually hear it.

So, my commitment to try to be a better listener continues.  I try to listen intently when people are speaking to me.  I try to be more conscious of what I am saying and why, and I try to be quiet often enough to hear my inner voice, the greatest guide I have.  Some days I find myself succeeding and other days I completely miss the mark, but all I can do is set my intention every day and know that, even if it is only inch by inch, I am moving decidedly in the right direction.


Conscious Ink tattoos were created to remind you to listen, be present, and be the very best you that you can be!  Check out the temporary tattoos featured in this article and many more in the Conscious Ink Temporary Tattoo store!

Frank Gjata: Yes! The simple act of acknowledging is so very powerful. This has become the foundation of my work as a coach/facilitator.

Last week I made the drive from Los Angeles to San Francisco for a dear friend’s wedding.  I have made this drive so many times before. 380 miles.  Hours of straight, flat road.  In the past, it was always a game: fly as fast as you can up the highway without getting caught.  For most of the drive, the speed limit is 75 MPH, but when you have hundreds of miles of open road stretching out in front of you and a horizon that seems to recede endlessly into the distance, even 90 MPH seems painfully slow.

I would drive as fast as my conscience could stand, alternating between staring at the horizon, wishing to be there, and neurotically checking my rear view mirror for black and white cars with blue and red lights.  The whole time, I would wish for it to be over.  I would wish for the hours to go by quickly.  I would wish hours of my life away.

But this time was different.  It had been years since I had last made this drive, and so many things about my perspective had shifted since then.  Despite all of the exciting things that awaited me in San Francisco and all of the people that I couldn’t wait to see, I set out on this trip with the conscious intention to remain patient, to not rush through this journey, these six hours of my life. I set an intention to be present.

The funny thing is, the trip went by faster this way.  It still took me the same amount of time, but I allowed myself to be absorbed in the experience, rather than fighting it.  Instead of constantly checking my clock and my mileage, calculating how much longer it would take at my current speed, I stayed present with the journey.

I noticed the beauty of the scenery; I enjoyed the peacefulness of the solitude and the singular task in front of me, just to drive. I had expected to feel frustration, but instead I felt gratitude.  Gratitude for the opportunity to see my friends and be with them for this important moment in their lives.  Gratitude for the opportunity to take a vacation from work, for the opportunity to travel to a city that I have always loved.  I recognized how different this experience was and the ways I have changed, become a little more peaceful and aware, and I was grateful for that, too.  Even the little things, the lambs frolicking in the open pastures along the highway and the children waving and giggling from their backseat window as they passed me, brought me so much joy.

I wondered why I had resisted this experience in the past.  I had spent so much time staring at the horizon, wishing to already be there.  I had missed everything that was right here.  I know I have done and continue to do this in so many areas of my life, particularly in my career and romantic life.  I have this idea that somewhere, over there on the horizon, things will be better.  Once I have the career of my dreams, the relationship I have always wanted…maybe once I have the perfect body or have reached some sort of nirvana where all of the aspects of myself that I consider flawed have melted away, I will float through life in a state of permanent bliss.

But this is it. This is where bliss happens.  Right here.  Not over there somewhere, out on a horizon that will probably always elude me, because, that’s what horizons do.  They are only illusions.  Just like my eyes perceive an endpoint to the landscape in front of me, my mind creates some sort of finish line in my life, but neither is real.  Once I reach the farthest point that I can see right now, there will be a new horizon, just as far away.  And even if I do achieve my dream career, my ideal body, and find the perfect relationship, my perspective will have changed along the way and there will be new things to attain, new endpoints in the distance.  So, for now, I will enjoy the scenery wherever I am at.  I will notice the beauty all around me, the giggling children, and the lambs frolicking in the open pastures.  After all, the grass is pretty green right here.

You can find all of the tattoos from this article over at the Conscious Ink Temporary Tattoo Store along with many other beautiful temporary tattoos designed to help you Be Present, find your Bliss, and remember that Life is This Moment Now.