A Life More Authentic?
The Choice Is Always There.
I try to make my choices from a place of authenticity. When I make decisions about whether or not to accept a job offer or how to approach a relationship issue with a friend, it is my goal to do so with honesty and a sense of what is true and right for me in that particular set of circumstances. But sometimes it is difficult.
Sometimes fear gets the best of me, and I let it be the guiding force in my decisions. What if another job doesn’t come along? What if I have to say that really difficult thing that I don’t want to say? Or that I do want to say, but I am scared won’t be received well or will lead to me being rejected or shamed or misunderstood?
Sometimes truth prevails. But sometimes I do what seems easier, safer, only to struggle in the web that, yes, even half-lies, little white lies, and lies we tell ourselves weave. I find myself in circumstances that are much more complicated and stressful and suffocating than they need to be. I try to make a little breathing room for myself, the self that I lost when I allowed the untruth to take up space in my life, but the untruth grows, it expands, and takes up even more space, pushing me farther and farther out of my own life, until I feel like I am on the outside looking in, wondering how I became an observer.
Thankfully, the choice is always there, in every single moment. We don’t have to remain passive. We can walk up to the door, open it, walk in, and reclaim an active role. For every circumstance in our lives that we create, weave, mold into being, we can take a step back, look at our creation, and decide what to do with it. If we find that it does not resonate with us, that perhaps it’s a lovely little piece of art but just not our taste, or that it’s not lovely at all and we can’t stand to look at it, we can deconstruct it, remold it, and create something new. We can dig deeper, find the truth, and start again, making choices that are based in a connection to that truth. We can trust that any decision we make from a place of authenticity will be the right one, and that even if those choices don’t always feel the safest or the easiest, they will always leads us to the place we need to be. The place that feels open, simple, and full of the peace that comes with living a life that is actively and deeply authentic.