Great...And Not So Great... Expectations.
Most of us have heard, and believe, that having expectations is bad. There are many quotes out there echoing this sentiment. Even Shakespeare seemed to share this belief with his quote, "Expectation is the root of all heartache."
And if we posted that on Facebook and Instagram, we're surely to get lots of likes, thumb ups, and favorable comments.
But here's the thing. We cannot not have expectations, even if we try really, really hard.
Why? Because we will always have subconscious expectations.
How do we know what our subconscious expectations are?
Simply, ask yourself...honestly.
Ask yourself what you really expect from an upcoming interaction, a job interview, or from the universe at large.
You'll get an answer.
Expectations are simply beliefs we have about ourselves, and our place in the world.
So...since we can't get rid of expectations altogether...no matter how hard we pretend...we may as well as pick expectations that we prefer. Or at a minimum challenge the self-defeating expectations we have for ourselves.
How do we that?
We question those self-defeating expectatons or limiting beliefs.
We may ask ourselves, "Where did I develop this expectation?" "Did I inherit it from someone?", "Is my expectation really valid?"
You may be thinking that you actually have data/facts/experiences that support the expectations you carry. And that may be true.
But what also is true is that not all people have the same expectations. In fact, they may have completely different data/facts/experiences than you.
Now you may be thinking...well, that isn't fair...and spiral further down the "victim" mentality black hole.
But it's actually good news that others have different expectations and experiences.
Why?
Because this means that expectations and beliefs are maleable and interchangeable.
Get curious and inquisitive about this. Ask friends you admire what they might expect and believe if they were in a similar situation as you.
Tune into podcasts. Listen to interviews of people you respect. Get a sense of what they expect...what they believe.
Then, acknowledge the following truth: If they can have certain (different) expectations, beliefs and experiences, so can you.
Get into the habit of seeing things from different perspectives. Try them on for yourself. See the world, and your situation, through different lenses. You'll soon notice that lenses are indeed interchangeable.
Ultimately, if they can experience something, so can you.
And yes, that includes miracles.
Because if a miracle is possible for one, it's possible for another.
And yes, that includes...you.
In joy.
Frank Gjata
Founder Conscious Ink
