Conscious Inklings Blog. IDEAS, INSIGHTS & INK-SPIRATION.

A few months ago, after being repeatedly encouraged by friends, I decided to check out a class at a local dance studio.  I browsed through the descriptions of the various classes and for some reason, a class called “Pop Video with Brandon” just stood out to me.  Who doesn't want to be able to dance like they’re killing it in a music video?

So, I showed up to my first day of class, and as I sat on the wooden floor of the dance studio, stretching, I realized that I was really nervous.  I hadn’t taken a dance class in over 15 years, and even then I took modern and ballet.  I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to learn the pop and hip hop infused choreography and that I would end up just making a fool out of myself.  Just as my anxiety was starting to hit a peak, the instructor walked, or rather, bounced into the room.

I was instantly fascinated with Brandon.  Everything about him was striking.  Physically, he was tall and lean, with ebony skin, and a megawatt smile.  He was dressed in true pop video star style, with 1970s basketball short shorts, sneaks, and a barely there tank top, and somehow, on him, the look seemed simultaneously fabulous and effortless.  Even more striking than his appearance though, was, what I can only describe as, his aura.  An incredible light seemed to radiate from him, and I was so busy being intrigued by this person that I forgot how nervous I was.

Brandon hit the music and we warmed up to the sounds of Beyonce, Britney Spears, and Michael Jackson, before shifting into the choreography.  I watched Brandon demonstrate dance sequences, and I could feel my movements becoming stiff and awkward as my incredibly stubborn perfectionist tendencies took hold.  I continued to study Brandon, trying to understand the secret to his dance amazingness, and then it hit me.  While he was certainly executing every move to perfection, fluid in one moment and then sharp the next, it wasn’t what he was doing as much as how he was doing it.

The only word that accurately describes Brandon when he dances is fierce.  As I watched Brandon dance, I noticed that he was expressing every ounce of his passion, joy, and talent in every movement.  He wasn't holding anything back, he was fearless, and it was a revelation. He moved around the room, beaming his infectious, child-like smile and calling out encouraging things to my classmates and me.  “Work it!....Yeah!...Holla!”

I looked around at my various classmates—people of every age, shape, color, and gender.  They, too, were completely letting go and dancing like their lives depended on it.  No, not everyone was hitting every move perfectly, but no one seemed to care.  They were all too busy being Beyonce, Britney, or Michael.

As I found my own fearlessness and began to let go of my inhibitions, self-criticisms, and worries, I found a power inside of myself that I didn’t even realize I had been suppressing.  I found my own fierceness, and I realized that this is what makes a pop star.  This is the “it factor” that people talk about.  The ability to not hold back even a tiny bit of your own greatness, and I couldn’t help but think about one of my favorite Marianne Williamson quotes.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ ”

In that moment, I realized how much I have lived within this perspective, this idea that I should be careful not to shine too brightly.  That it might be threatening to someone else or that it might be too much to live up to.  That, maybe, I am not worthy of being great.  But the ever-wise Marianne Williamson goes on to ask the question that Brandon implied in his class. “Who are you not to be?”  Why should you subdue your light?

Williamson illuminates the truth that was unveiling itself to me.  Sweat-soaked, in the middle of a dance class, with club music blasting, I realized what my classmates and Brandon seemed to already know.  “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

This is what Brandon’s class was about—liberation.  Liberation from our fears, from the limitations that we place upon ourselves.   I went into a dance class, hoping to get a good sweat and some new moves, and I came away with a lesson that I have carried with me every day since: Not only do you not have to hide your light, you absolutely should let your light shine as brightly as it will, because the very act of doing so just might give someone else permission to do the same.  And that is, most definitely, a gift.

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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of balance.  It’s one of those things that we often take for granted, like our health, but once we’re struggling to maintain it, its value becomes abundantly clear.  Losing your balance physically can be an uncomfortable and even scary experience.  One moment you might be standing with your feet planted firmly on the ground, but then the surface beneath you shifts, and your body must immediately respond in order to regain stability.  Luckily, our bodies are built with systems that work automatically to maintain physical equilibrium.  We don’t have to think about how to adjust when we feel ourselves becoming unsteady; our limbs simply move into place to attain balance once again.  But, what happens when the loss of balance occurs on an emotional or spiritual level?

 We can lose our emotional balance in a number of ways.  Unexpected life events sometimes leave us feeling as if the ground beneath our feet has shifted or we dedicate too much of our time or energy to only one aspect of our lives.  Over time, too much or not enough work, play, sleep, or food eventually take its toll on our wellbeing.  Addictions, emotional struggles, and unfair expectations lead us to push the boundaries of what is healthy for ourselves, and we restrict, over-indulge, pressure, or neglect ourselves until we feel completely disconnected from our own centers.  We suddenly find ourselves living lifestyles that aren’t sustainable, but how do we stop?  How do we find the balance that we lost?

Any yogi can tell you that balance is a skill that must be practiced and honed.  It is not a static state that will necessarily persist once attained, but requires constant maintenance.  You might find your balance, then start to lose it, recalibrate, and find balance again only to feel it slip once more.  While our physical response to losing balance is automatic, it is still an ability that can be refined and the same is true of our ability to maintain emotional balance.  It is through the practice of staying present in each moment and staying connected to our inner truths that we build a deeper awareness of the unique set of factors that lead to a strong spiritual foundation in each of our lives.  As we becomes more tuned in to our emotional states, we see more clearly the signs that let us know when we have pushed ourselves too far or have neglected something that is vital to our sense of wellbeing, and we give ourselves the opportunity to become experts in the never-ending art of creating balance.

Want to stay present, tuned in, and balanced in your every day life? Click HERE and see which message is speaking to you today. 

There were really only a few different types of thoughts that were coming up for me and the category of thought that seemed to be most prevalent and most persistent was what I call “planning”.

Answers reveal themselves to us when we are in a state of calm curiosity. This is why big insights come through when we are doing things that, on the outside, don’t look like much—watching the tide roll in and out, taking a shower, commuting to work, etc..

These activities give us the space necessary to digest our day-to-day lives. It’s as though clarity is waiting to find us uninterrupted to tap on our shoulders with solutions to the problems peeving us.

Temporary detachment from our daily lives is the key ingredient here, as this grants us with a bird’s eye view of all our undertakings. From here we temporarily stop working in our lives and begin to work on our lives.

To clarify, working in your life includes all of the things you do each day to keep the ship sailing—going to work, getting an oil change, scheduling appointments, etc.. By contrary, to work on your life is to step away to make sure you are headed in the right direction and includes things like spending time in reflection, planning ahead, or sitting in silence and seeing what comes up.

When we weave together both elements—time spent engrossed in the necessary minutiae with time away—shift happens. We no longer need to dig beneath crumb covered couch cushions for answers, because we have the foresight needed to comprehend the bigger picture. The routine daily activities become infused with a greater sense of purpose, as we have stepped away long enough to know why we are doing what we are doing.

 And…drumroll please…we stop losing our keys, because, during one of our steps away, it occurred to us that we can order a key finder—a nimble little gadget that connects to a phone and only requires the push of a button to relocate them.

 

Amanda,

Conscious Ink Staffer 

Have you ever known someone who appeared to have the secret to life?  Someone who inspires you on a daily basis to be a better you just by being, well, them? I’ve been lucky enough to have a few of these people in my life and I have always been amazed by the way they seem to never really struggle too much with anything.  While it’s possible that these people are just really lucky and never have anything negative happen in their life (okay, actually not possible), it seems to me that somehow they have managed to figure out how to respond to whatever comes their way with an incredibly grounded sense of peace and acceptance.

This is certainly not to say that their lives are perfect by any means, but that in the midst of even their most difficult times, they know that the moment will eventually pass, and they focus on looking for something positive in every moment, every interaction, every life experience that comes their way.  They make it their mission to find joy, beauty, and love in everything around them.

So this is the part where I remind you that the title of this article is “The secret to life” not “ I have the secret to life”, because I certainly haven’t figured this one out, yet.  Still, I have been very observant of those around me who seem to have the hang of it.  I notice the ways that they breathe into the difficult moments, let go of the things that do not serve them, and move towards the experiences that make them feel blissfully alive, and I take very good notes.  (Mostly, mentally though because it might creep my friends out a bit if I was following them around with a notepad and pen.)

I pay close attention as they handle the situations that arise in their own lives with a sense of acceptance and faith, compassion for themselves and others, and a joy that is not based in anything more than the simple joy of being alive and present for the moment at hand.   I watch as they approach their experiences with openness, curiosity, and a willingness to laugh at life’s ironies and at themselves.  I watch and I remind myself that the secret to life is not a magic bullet that rushes in, but is, in fact, a practice.  It is a conscious choice to set positive intentions for yourself and others every day.  It involves a constant dedication to creating a life that is rich with positivity and love, and even though it may not make all of life’s difficulties disappear, it most certainly creates a new perspective in which every experience can be embraced as part of the simultaneously intricate and beautifully simple experience of a life well-lived.
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Variety of thought is the spice of humanity.

The Taoist philosophy of wu wei, which translates to “non-doing” or “non-action”, offers an alternative approach. While wu wei translates to doing nothing, it doesn’t mean to literally do nothing. Instead it describes flowing with the current of life, rather than against it.

Wu wei is coasting along a beach path on a summer night, warm air brushing against your cheeks reminding you that life is golden. In this state of flow nothing exists except you and whatever you are doing in that moment. There is no struggle or excessive effort and things just seem to work.

Action taken from this place isn’t forced. It’s those trips that plan themselves, the dinners with family where everyone gets along, that point during a run where the right song comes on and carries you through the rest of the trail. The common denominator is that when acting from this state, all of the pieces seem to fall together effortlessly. We are moving through the motions required to carry out a task, but it’s not an uphill drudgery kind of movement. The outcome of every action we put forth is multiplied, gaining momentum like a snowball expanding as it rolls downhill.

How can we incorporate more wu wei into our lives? For one, we can strike while the iron is hot, i.e act right away when we feel the inclination to do something, thus riding on the sails of inspiration. Another option is to create space for flow each day. This can be setting aside an hour to paint, run, journal, read, etc.. before we go into the to-dos of the day.  An hour spent engrossed in something you love infuses every other area of your life with that same sense of ease and childlike joy. Work projects flow better, patience is easier to find, we stop taking ourselves so seriously and overall are more pleasant to be around.

Wu wei disrupts the chorus of the mind and allows us fall in sync with a universal rhythm that unites all living things. The same force that drives the geese down south each winter spurs our inclinations to pick up an activity and lose track of the hours. Losing time is a sign that your inner compass is working. When this is what guides you, no force is necessary.

Amanda,

Conscious Ink Staffer 

Amanda Brown is a wellness blogger and a member of the Conscious Ink Team at our home office in Bend, OR. She is passionate about helping people find peace with where they are at while pursuing their best, most fulfilling lives. For more of her work, you can head over to her blog at www.liminalwellness.com.

In today’s world, we are witnessing a mental health crisis in full effect.

Far too many have suffered in silence for fear of the shame and judgement surrounding this issue. Teen suicide alone increased 250% in October 2020 from the previous October, and nearly 26 million American are experiencing mental illness and going untreated. In many aspects of life, vulnerability is still labeled as a weakness, and needing help seen as an Achilles heel. And as we have seen in recent years, and most notably perhaps this year, athletes have not been immune to this crisis.

Watching the judgement and shame surrounding the actions of the likes of Simone Biles, Michael Phelps, and Naomi Osaka...if you are like us...brings a physical wrenching reaction. It’s extremely hard to stand by and witness people cast such judgment on these athletes when all they are saying is, “I’m out of balance, I am not well, I may need help, and I need to take time for self-care”. After all they have put in... after all the work…how can we possibly be upset with that? How can anyone possibly feel as though a title, a medal, notoriety, national pride, etc. supersedes well-being? Where is the empathy and compassion for our fellow human? 

Can you remember an experience in your own personal life, on an occasion where you were under extreme pressure to push yourself past the point of what’s best for your personal well-being for the sake of a business deal, or presentation, etc.? These experiences can be excruciating mentally and physically and place our bodies into a state of dis-ease, and it is not acceptable. At no time in our human journeys, should the athlete, the teacher, the salesperson, the welder, the CEO, come before the human. We are humans first. 

Now more than ever, mental health must be prioritized, and the conversation surrounding it normalized. We need open and honest discussion about it at the dinner table and we need open and honest discussion in the locker room. It needs to be openly discussed in the office, and it needs to be openly discussed on that car ride home. Vulnerability should be seen as courage, and putting one’s wellbeing first, as the new cool. We need to LISTEN to our bodies when its telling  us it's too much and we need to LISTEN to others when they are doing the same. This is how we begin to reverse this crisis and move towards a more balanced and healthy world that we are leaving to our children.

Our hats go off to these athletes who are taking a stand and using their platform to bring awareness and change to this very real and prevalent issue we are all touched by. Let's all commit to putting our well-being first, support and empathize with those doing the same, and be the change in humanity we wish to see.

We are ALL humans first.

 

"We also have to focus on ourselves, because at the end of the day, we're human, too," said Simone Biles. 

 

Written by Amanda Brown, a Conscious Ink staffer who was a Division I tennis player, playing the sport for over 25 years.

Mirror, mirror...what do you have to teach me?

We often hear that our world, and our relationships, mirror back to us how we're acting and behaving. Oftentimes, people think that this simply means what's being reflected back is our treatment of others…what some people think of as Karma, so to speak. While this may also be identified, this isn't the primary mechanism of how this "law" works.

With a deeper look, we see that our world, and relationships, actually reflect back HOW WE TREAT OURSELVES. So, if we don't value ourselves, the world reflects back situations where we won't feel valued. If we see ourselves as stupid, the world reflects back situations where we will feel stupid. If we run away from our emotions, this is the behavior we'll experience from others. Our thoughts, actions and behaviors are fueled by the beliefs we have about ourselves, and our world.

We actually create (subconsciously) a reality that brings forth situations that trigger the feelings we're used to having. Think about it. We end up feeling the same feelings over and over and over.

The people, situations, and scenery may be different, but the underlying storyline stays the same.

This may seem cruel and unusual karmic punishment. But, in truth, it's actually grace in action. This mechanism allows us to see vividly where our wounds and patterns are, where we're off the mark, where we're not in alignment with our true selves. It gives us the opportunity to learn, heal and make new choices that reflect the truth of who we really are.

So, if you're not sure of all the subtle, and not so subtle, ways you're treating yourself, and the beliefs you employ, just notice how the world is treating you. Then notice how you're treating yourself the exact same way. If you’d like to change these patterns, make a commitment to treat yourself in the way you'd like to be treated from the outside world.

Breathe. Be gentle. Have compassion for yourself. A lot of emotions may come up. Perfect. This will give you an opportunity to practice self love...the one and only, all-purpose healing elixir.

Frank Gjata,

Founder, Conscious Ink

Perfection is a lie and most of us are aware of this. But somehow this knowledge doesn't prevent us from hanging this ideal of perfection over our shoulders and criticizing ourselves for falling short of our expectations time and time again. 

Not only is perfection a lie but it is also a dream killer. How many of us have subdued our grandest visions due to the crippling fear of trying and not being good enough-- of failing to meet our own expectations? More often than not, the death of the dreams dwelling within us occurs with the subtlety of a prolonged suffocation as we continuously put off our aspirations for a more convenient time. 

Nothing, nothing, will ever be perfect. There is no perfect time to have a child, to start a business, to get in shape or do whatever it is that speaks to us. Many of us will die with unchecked items on a to-do list. And this is okay, because life is not about checking items off of a to-do list--endlessly chasing down this illusion of perfection to gain a sense of fulfillment. True lasting fulfillment comes from living in alignment with who we really are and letting love guide us every step of the way. 

So, what if we did ourselves a favor and let go of the need for everything to be perfect to start living life as our truest, most authentic selves? Rather than fighting to gain control over the chaos in our lives, maybe we would learn to embrace the chaos and revel in the perfect imperfectness of it all. 

Amanda,

Conscious Ink Staffer 

Amanda Brown is a wellness blogger and a member of the Conscious Ink Team at our home office in Bend, OR. She is passionate about helping people find peace with where they are at while pursuing their best, most fulfilling lives. For more of her work, you can head over to her blog at www.liminalwellness.com.

Many of us tense against the adversities blowing us off our planned trajectories—the flat tires, the breakups, the diagnoses that come out of nowhere and thwart the best laid plans. We resist these things until we have no other choice but to stare down the barrel confronting us. This is our way of protecting ourselves, creating a shield between our most tender selves and the outside world.

We all come into life the same way, soft, open to the wonders of the world. With time we accumulate a potpourri of wounds that make us move through life more cautious than before, aware of the pain that can come of leading with an open heart. 

This instinct, while being an effective way to protect ourselves from pain, also hinders vulnerability. Vulnerability is the hub of a buoyant, connected, fully expressed life. In the words of Brenè Brown: 

"Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for our worthiness, but it appears that it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love."

Everything out there that poses a threat to the protective wall we've enshrouded ourselves with is the wind whipping through a lake, sending currents through an otherwise still body of water. Humans resent the wind, we resent anything that threatens our illusion of control over circumstances that are clearly beyond our reach, anything that exposes us as something other than the stoic facades we present with. 

What if instead of hardening to our circumstances, we softened, letting ourselves bob and weave with the wind? Folded into the most raucous of storms is an opportunity for connection, expansion, wisdom. When we soften, we are more receptive to the lessons that these experiences have to offer us. We emerge from adversity with an ability to both handle more than we thought we were capable of and to empathize with others who are navigating tough times of their own.

The things we do in an attempt to gain a sense of control over the uncontrollable keep us hard. Leading with vulnerability is surrendering to life in all of its blustery excellence. Showing up when we can't control the outcome. Reaching out when our efforts may not be returned. Bowing to the storm when we might be swept away. 

 Amanda,